A memorial service is a beautiful way to celebrate the life of a loved one who has passed away. It can be tailored to reflect the unique personality of the person being honored.
Whether you lost a close family member or a furry friend, putting together a memorial service can be a stressful task. This planning guide will make the process easier, so you can focus on remembering and honoring your loved one.
From start to finish, a memorial service should be a personal reflection of the life lived. It can be as simple or as elaborate as youโd like, but the most important thing is that it feels right for you and your family.
Let’s dive in and explore everything you’ll need to plan a special memorial service.
Planning a Memorial Service: At a Glance
Before we get into the nitty-gritty details, it’s important to understand what event exactly you’re planning: a memorial, a funeral, or a celebration of life. Yes, these are three separate types of events, each with its own unique purpose. Here’s a brief overview of each:
- A funeral is a formal event, usually conducted by a religious leader, that is held soon after the death of the person being honored. The body of the deceased is almost always present at the funeral.
- A memorial, on the other hand, is a less formal event that can be held at any time after the death. The body is not present, but there may be pictures or other personal items on display. Memorials are often held in a place that was special to the deceased.
- A celebration of life is exactly what it sounds like: a party to celebrate the life of the person who has passed. This type of event is usually less somber than a funeral or memorial, and it’s a great way to honor someone with a fun-loving personality.
Understanding the difference between these three events will help you plan the memorial service that is right for you and your loved ones.
How To Plan A Memorial Service: A Step-By-Step Guide
Now that you have a better understanding of what kind of event you’re planning, it’s time to start putting together the details. Use the following tips as a guide to help you plan a beautiful and memorable memorial service.
Decide on a Date, Time, and Location
The first step in planning any event is deciding when and where it will take place. For a memorial service, you’ll want to choose a date that is convenient for everyone who wants to attend.
Keep in mind that some family members and friends may live out of state or even out of the country. You’ll also want to consider work schedules and other commitments when choosing a date.
As for the time, most memorial services are held in the afternoon or evening. This gives people who live far away enough time to travel to the event. That’s not to say that you can’t have a morning memorial service, but it’s less common.
As for the location, you’ll want to choose a place that is special to the person you are honoring. This could be a church, a park, their favorite restaurant, or even their home.
Did the person love to travel? Consider having the service in a different city or even country. Were they always hanging out at the local coffee shop? Have the memorial there.
The sky’s the limit, so choose a location that feels right for you.
Who Will Be Invited?
The next step is to start making a list of who you want to invite. Believe it or not, this can be one of the hardest parts of planning a memorial service.
You’ll want to include immediate family members, close friends, and anyone else who was important in the life of the person you are honoring. Try to be as inclusive as possible, but don’t feel like you have to invite everyone you’ve ever met.
If you’re not sure whether or not to invite someone, err on the side of caution and include them on the list. It’s better to have too many people than too few.
Ultimately, you should honor the wishes of the person you are planning the memorial for. If they wanted a small and intimate gathering, then that’s what you should aim for. If they would have wanted a big party, then go all out.
Choose a Theme or Focus
Memorials don’t have to be somber affairs. In fact, many people choose to focus on the positive aspects of the person’s life.
For example, if your grandfather was an avid golfer, you could ask everyone to wear golf clothes or have a golf-themed memorial service. If your mother loved to cook, you could have a potluck dinner in her honor. If your furry friend was the life of the party, you could have a dog-themed memorial service.
Some low-key ideas include releasing balloons, planting a tree, or writing letters to the person you lost. This will keep the focus on celebrating their life rather than dwelling on their death.
Include Faith-Based Traditions or Activities
If the person you are honoring was religious, consider including some faith-based traditions in their memorial service. This could be anything from a Catholic mass to a Buddhist funeral ceremony.
For example, if they were Christian, you could ask the pastor to give a eulogy or say a prayer. If they were Jewish, you might want to have a rabbi officiate the service.
You may also want to include faith-based activities, such as saying the Lord’s Prayer or reading from the Bible. Just make sure that you are including activities that the person you lost would have wanted.
No matter what religion the person was, you can be sure that there are appropriate traditions and activities that can be included in the memorial service.
Decide Who Will Speak
One of the most critical parts of any memorial service is the eulogy. This is a speech given by a close friend or family member that honors the life of the person who has passed away.
Eulogies are usually fairly short, but they can be as long or as short as you want. They often include stories about the person’s life, words of wisdom, and messages of love and support for the family.
If you’re not sure who should give the eulogy, ask the person’s closest friends and family members. You may also want to ask if anyone else would like to speak at the memorial service.
Eulogies are the highlight of many memorial services, so take your time in choosing the right people to deliver them.
Write Your Own Eulogy
If you have decided to give the eulogy yourself, then you’ll need to start writing it as soon as possible. Your eulogy should be personal and from the heart. Try to focus on the positive aspects of the person’s life. Include stories and anecdotes that will make people laugh and cry. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to show your emotions.
However, make sure you don’t cram everything about the person’s life into one speech. Just choose a few stories that you think best represent who they were. If you’re struggling to write the eulogy, ask a close friend or family member to help you. You may also want to look online for eulogy templates or examples.
Choose Appropriate Music
Music can play a big role in any memorial service. The right songs can help set the tone for the event and make it more personal. There are no hard and fast rules for choosing music for a memorial service.ย
However, you should try to pick songs that were meaningful to the person you lost. This could be anything from their favorite pop song to a classical piece that they loved. You may also want to choose songs that reflect the person’s personality or the way you want people to remember them.
For example, if they were always happy and full of life, you might choose an upbeat song like “Walking on Sunshine.” Similarly, if they were always there for you, you could choose a song like “Lean on Me.”
If you’re struggling to choose the right music, ask the person’s close friends and family for suggestions. You can also look online for lists of songs that are appropriate for memorial services.
Include Photos and Memorabilia
Including photos and memorabilia at a memorial service is a great way to honor the life of the person who has passed. This could be anything from a favorite book or movie to a piece of jewelry or clothing.
If you need help deciding what to include, think about what the person loved in life. What are some of your favorite memories of them? What are some of the things they were passionate about? Were they always joking around?
You can also ask other family members and friends for ideas. They may have items that would be perfect for the memorial service.
The sky’s the limit, so get creative. There’s no right or wrong answer here. Just make sure that the photos and memorabilia you choose reflect the life of the person you are honoring.
Decide on the Menu
If you’re planning to serve food at the memorial service, then now is the time to start thinking about what you want to serve. After all, you’ll need to give the caterer or restaurant plenty of notice.
If you’re not sure what to serve, think about the person you are honoring. What were their favorite foods? What would they want everyone to eat?
Was their favorite food something that would be easy to mass-produce? If not, then consider serving something else. After all, you don’t want to spend the entire memorial service in the kitchen.
Keep in mind that some people may have dietary restrictions, so it’s always a good idea to have a few different options available.
Plan the Logistics
Now that you have a general idea of what you want to do, it’s time to start planning the logistics.
Logistics is a broad term that covers everything from the venue to the food to the guest list. In short, it’s everything you need to do to make the memorial service a reality.
If you’re not sure where to start, then consider these questions:
- How many people do you expect to attend?
- What type of venue do you need?
- Do you need to rent any equipment?
- What type of food do you want to serve?
- Who do you want to invite?
We’ve already touched on some of these questions, so you can refer back to those sections for more information.
If you’re struggling to figure out the logistics, don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are plenty of people who have planned memorial services before, and they would be more than happy to help you.
The Importance of Setting a Budget for a Memorial Service
Now that we have everything out of the way, let’s address the elephant in the room: how much can you expect to spend on a memorial service?ย
Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer to this question. The cost of a memorial service can vary widely, depending on the size and scope of the event.
You may not want to think about money when you’re planning a memorial service, but it’s important to set a budget. After all, you don’t want to end up in debt because of an unexpected expense.
Here are the estimated costs of some common memorial service expenses:
- Venue rental: $500-$3,000
- Catering: $300-$2,000
- Flowers: $200-$1,000
- Music: $100-$1,000
- Transportation: $100-$1,000
- Photographs and memorabilia: $100-$1,000
These are just estimates, of course. The actual cost of your memorial service will depend on the specifics of your event.
When setting your budget, be sure to account for all potential expenses. It’s always better to overestimate than underestimate. That way, you’ll be prepared for anything that comes up.
Conclusion
We all must face the fact that death is a part of life. And, as difficult as it is to lose someone we love, memorial services can be a beautiful way to celebrate their life.The above guide provides a framework for planning a memorial service.
Of course, every memorial service is different, so feel free to make it your own. Most importantly, don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are plenty of people who have planned memorial services before, and they would be more than happy to help you.